Written by Leah Beck
"So, I am on my way to Israel ... Really cool things keep happening. I've barely left America and I've already begun to experience a new culture." - The first few sentences of my Israel journal, written on the flight from New York to Tel Aviv, January 13, 2015.
Today is the mark of my sixth week in Israel.
When my flight landed in the Holy Land six weeks ago and everyone on my flight began to cheer, I started to cry. I wasn't sure what I was getting myself into and I had never experienced anything close to what was beginning to happen.
In starting The Nachshon Project, I almost immediately learned that I was the only Fellow who hadn't been to Israel before and I became known for it. I quickly came to realize how little I actually knew about the place where I would be spending my semester abroad. During discussions I felt that I had nothing to contribute and I couldn't even ask questions, simply because I didn't know enough to ask.
"I'm so mad at myself that I have been wandering around this planet, surrounded by resources, with the knowledge that I am uneducated about Israel and not doing anything about it! I can't just live through this amazing opportunity without learning something about what I'm living in the middle of." - Personal journal entry on January 20, 2015.
I went through a daily personal struggle between being angry at my home congregation for not teaching me anything about Israel, and at my summer camp for not filling in the gaps. The struggle worsened when I began to be angry with myself for not reading or keeping up better with the conflict.
This started my journey towards truly learning about my Jewish homeland.
Throughout our many Nachshon seminars and discussions, I have started to get a grasp on this amazing place. I've begun to be able to point things out on the map, and more than that, I'm beginning to be able to contribute to conversations. I felt a real change during our Shabbaton in Tel Aviv with the rabbis from different sects. While I had expected to connect best with the Reform rabbi, I was surprised to find myself connecting best with the Conservative rabbi. I felt privileged to have discussed the similarities and differences between URJ and Ramah culture with the other Nachshon Fellows, and it felt exceptional to all come together and agree on the values of one rabbi. This is when I began to understand the purpose of being here.
At first I came to Israel because of the benefits Nachshon has to offer me throughout my life - namely graduate school. I couldn't turn down an opportunity that would set up my future in a Jewish workplace, because I've never had the financial means to get where I wanted to be. But it didn't take long to feel just how much more this program has already given me. Through seminars and speakers and discussions, I've come to realize how important it is to be here in this place, with these amazing people, learning something real. I've come to understand the importance of bringing the Jewish community together. I finally am receiving the education that I've always wanted in a way that few others get to experience during their first time here. These six weeks have given me the courage and the ambition to bring what I'm learning back home with me. I know I have the resources and people who care, standing to back me up in however I decide to teach Israel at home and at camp.
Looking back, I know that when I landed here I was crying out of fear of the unknown. However, what I didn't know, is turning out to impact me so deeply in a way I never imagined possible and has become one of the best experiences of my life.
