Immediately following havdalah during the Tzfat Shabbaton, we all embarked on a journey towards Amuka. This is a pilgrimage that a number of Jews have gone on, and many will continue to embark on in the future. After a long, dark, somewhat nauseating journey deep into the forests that surround the city of Tzfat, we all huddled together to attempt to keep warm from the bitter cold and listened as our guide, Jamie, spoke about the site at which we were standing.
We soon learned that we were at the grave of Yonatan Ben Uziel. He was a student of Hillel the Elder, and studied as a learned Talmudic scholar. The Talmud even notes that when birds would fly over his head, they would burn, because of the angels who were surrounding him who were trying to listen to him as he would study Torah. His tomb is surrounded by a small library of Jewish books, emphasizing the scholarly life that he held. He was so committed to his study of Torah that he never married, since he was practically married to the Torah. Because of this, his grave has turned into a place where many singles visit in the hopes that they will find their soulmate, known in Jewish tradition as their Besheret.
As we looked down and saw a number of single people who were visiting the site on this late, dark, cold night, we realized the reality of the number of singles who had indeed visited this grave with this hope of love in mind. Still today, people travel from near and far, praying that within a year of their visit, they will have found their Besheret. Some even “accidentally” leave behind a Siddur or other Jewish book at the grave itself, with their name and contact information inscribed. They do this hoping that their Besheret will find it, and follow the Jewish tradition of returning lost objects, thus uniting the individuals. When we were at the tomb, we could see all of these books that had been left behind. Above the grave is a rooftop area with a large circular dome of cement. Many singles, particularly women, often choose to walk seven laps around this circle, to greater ensure their luck of finding their soulmate.
As I stood and watched many of my peers walking these seven laps, I tried to think about why it was that I chose not to participate in this activity that could bring me my Besheret.
As a young, single woman, some would think that I might be eager to give this opportunity a chance. Although this may be partially true, I did not feel that this was the mode to finding a soulmate. If someone truly is meant to be with you, then I would like to believe that the powers that be will make this happen, regardless of how many circles I walk in and where I walk in them. That person should be able to find me even without using my Siddur as a means to find me.
Regardless of my own personal opinions on using the gravesite of Yonatan Ben Uziel as the beginning of a path towards a chuppah, I can still appreciate that it has served as such for many. If this place has brought more love and happiness into the world, then I cannot assume that my perspective is the dominant view. I do, however, hope that this site has not led to any lost hope for love. I pray that it has not caused any lonely singles to believe that they do not have a Besheret.
While this visit may not have led me to find my Besheret, I hope that the grave of Yonatan Ben Uziel in Amuka will continue to bring more love and hope into the world.
