By Micah Cowan
The first -- and, so far, only -- time I dipped in a mikvah was on my High School’s three-month trip to Israel. As this was a post-graduation trip, this was a “Torah Lishma” trip; learning about Israel for the sake of furthering our understanding of the land, culture, and history. On this trip, the 35 males of our group had the opportunity to visit the Ari Mikvah with the chance to immerse ourselves in the mikvah’s actual waters. Our teacher explained why people go to the mikvah, its purpose and its history. Afterwards, those who wanted to dipped in the frigid waters of the mikvah, while the rest of our group awkwardly swayed with their arms around each other, singing slow Hebrew songs, wearing nothing but towels. It was a sight to see. For me, that mikvah experience felt cleansing, uplifting, renewing. When, three years later, I heard we were going to that mikvah as a Nachshon cohort, I expected a similarly rejuvenating experience. However, my experience was difficult on a personal level, and processing this experience has led to new understandings.
The eleven males of our cohort started with a tour and explanation of the mikvah from one of the staff of the Tsfat Mikvah and Education Center. The American-born guide likewise told us the history of the mikvah, why people have been going to mikvahs, and why they still exist today. I appreciated learning about this important Jewish ritual from a historical and religious perspective. Our guide went on to explain the most common use for mikvahs amongst religious married women today: the laws pertaining to niddah.
He explained that when your wife is in "nidah," you cannot touch each other, until she immerses herself in the Mikvah. Seemingly trying to relate to us young college students, our guide made a number of jokes about how the physical separation from one's wife, followed by a physical reunification after the mikvah, is undeniably pleasurable for him. I personally felt alienated by his comments and felt his jokes were inappropriate and insensitive. Some of the males in our group laughed along with him, and others were clearly uncomfortable by the remarks.
We proceeded with our Shabbaton in Tzfat and didn’t really bring up the mixed feelings about the program until our processing session with the Rabbis. There, we openly expressed our feelings about holiness, Tzfat, and the entirety of the mikvah experience. It was a productive processing session, as those that previously found the guide to be funny and relatable started to understand how his words were affecting those around them.
This incident, while challenging and somewhat painful, brought the males of the cohort together. We were reminded that we need to be mindful of each other’s experiences, and that we must continue to support each other throughout the semester and after.