By Avidan Halivni
As part of our series of cohort-wide Torah study sessions hosted by Pardes, we had the privilege of hearing from Yiscah Smith, a renowned educator and teacher of Torah. Her topic of focus was the story of God’s first call to Abraham of “Lech Lecha,” often translated as “go unto yourself,” or “go for yourself.” In a manner that honored the classic exegetical styles of the great Hasidic masters, many of whom appeared on the source sheet we looked over in chevruta before returning back to the group, Yiscah presented this divine imperative as a mandate to follow one’s internal voice — wherever it takes you. God offers Abraham no clarity as to the destination of his journey; so too, Yiscah suggested, our journeys can take us on surprising routes and detours, the final resting spot uncertain. The model of Abraham, Kierkegaard’s knight of faith, is to find the courage to honor this voice within.
As Nachshon fellows, we have an advantage that Abraham didn’t have — the resources and mentors to encourage us to listen to our internal compass and commit ourselves to being honest in listening to its message. The numerous sessions we participated in over the course of the semester fostered in us a commitment and an excitement to begin our journey away from the comforts of college life. Additionally, we had the privilege of hearing from those who blazed the trail for us. Leaving the security of our pre-professional lives feels less daunting with footprints in the sand in front of us. The last element of Yiscah‘s session that caught me by surprise, yet one that I’ve been trying to integrate into my own life in the days since we met with her, is her description of her personal meditation practice. She mentioned that the core feature of her morning ritual is deep belly breathing, since “so much of the day we are in ‘flight or flight’ mode — shallow breaths from our chest.” I was struck by my own biological tendency to remain in flight or flight mode and have been making a conscious effort to breath more deeply on buses, in classes, and before I myself go to sleep. Upon further reflection, this practice is an apt metaphor for what this semester has been for me. I am so often in a frenetic pace of life on my own campus, and I am grateful to Nachshon for offering me an opportunity to engage in some “deep belly breathing” for the last few months, surrounded by good friends, interesting ideas, and a wonderful overall experience.
