By Samantha Brenner
I went into the Jerusalem Shabbaton excited, nervous, and even a little anxious to see
and experience Shabbat through a different lens. Leading into the Shabbaton, we experienced
different expressions of Judaism, learning how denominations of Judaism are able to manifest
themselves. After finishing lunch on Friday afternoon and checking into the Rafael Residences, I
had the tough decision of picking a shul to spend Friday night services. Growing up in a
traditional conservative household, I knew that I wanted to push myself out of my comfort
zone. I wanted to stray away and try something completely different than I was used to.
I found myself walking into Nava Tehila, a reform style service in Jerusalem. With chairs
set up in a circle, a group of musicians, rabbis and song leaders sat in the most inner circle. I
hurried in with a group of eager worshipers, excited to take part in this special service that only
happens once a month. The energy in the room changed once the rabbi began singing. She
controlled the prayer, allowing the words she was singing to touch every single person in that
room. This experience was truly the first time that I was a part of a Friday night service that
included prayer and instruments. While I left the shul feeling uncomfortable about the musical
aspect, I was proud of myself for stepping outside of my comfort zone. Being surrounded by a
group of people praying with their entire Neshama, dancing and singing and putting their whole
being into the prayer just showed me how special Friday night services really are.
On Shabbat morning, I slipped somewhat back into my Conservative bubble, attending a
Conservative minyan, Shira Chadasha. While this minyan was Conservative, it had a mehitzah,
while still allowing women to lead prayer and chant Torah. This minyan allowed me breathe a
sigh of relief. I understood the prayer, the order of the service, felt more at home here, and
even ran into camp friends!
Looking back at the Jerusalem Shabbaton, my Jewish identity became challenged and it
scared me. It still does! I realized that placing myself completely in a Conservative box would no
longer suit my Jewish identity. I loved experiencing prayer through different discourses of
Judaism and because of Nachshon, I am able to understand and experience more about
Judaism as a whole, rather than just the specific denomination that I have been a part of my whole life.
